I Am Not Bugs Bunny
So, you know that Bugs Bunny cartoon where he plays baseball by himself, fielding all the positions? First Base, Bugs Bunny…Second Base, Bugs Bunny… That’s how my life has felt of late. Physically, emotionally, even spiritually, I’ve been dashing all over the field. It’s not so much that I’m being pulled hither and yon, rather I’m running to get there in time. As I sprint about, I’ve come to a realization: I am not Bugs Bunny. Nor, to state the even more obvious, am I God.
With what feels like a mountain of unanswered questions in my life, I’ve been trying desperately to come up with answers. I’m applying for jobs, exploring options, and asking questions of people who have little to say in return. It’s frustrating, exhausting, and leaves me a little desperate at times. One recent evening, when I was feeling especially overwhelmed, this verse came into my head: Be still, and know that I am God. I looked at it, turned it over in my mind, and found that I could breathe.
How much did I need to hear those words? Be still. Forget all the clichés about the information age, I have been in near constant mental motion. Even speaking the words aloud slowed my heart rate and let me take a deep, cleansing breath. For that moment, I could feel the anxiety slough off like mud beneath clean water. Then came the second half of the sentence, “know that I am God.” And since there’s only one God, that means I’m not really in charge of any of this. I can’t control the outcomes of my actions, only the effort which goes into them. I can play the position I’ve been given and field the ground ball hit my way, but the instant I release the throw to first, it’s out of my hands. I can’t alter the direction of the wind, the speed of the runner, or the skill of the first baseman. I have to leave those to God.
So, I’m resolved to be a little more focused on what I can control and a little less worried about what I can’t. I’m not always successful, mind you, but I think I have slowed enough to remember that I can’t do the things God can. I can only be me, put in my best effort, and trust that He will keep His promises.